No, it's not fish, despite what some of you might think.

Fish are actually the BEST thing about poker - they're what makes the game so profitable. Think about it.

Poker is a game of numbers, timing, bluffing, cards and chips, but ultimately it's about your edge over the other players. The worse those players, the greater your edge over time.

Fish (otherwise known as donkeys, newbies, "YOU ..... IDIOT!" amongst other names) are the worst of the worst, hence your edge is highest over them.

Anyway..

Bubbling is the worst. Knowing that had that hand gone your way, had Lady Luck smiled on you just that once, had chance decided to throw you a bone - your life in this tournament would be totally different.

You might still lose and go out later on, but knowing that you hit the top 10% because you were better than the other 90% is a great feeling.

It is equally as great as the feeling of being beaten unfairly or improperly is a terrible feeling, and one that s... more.

Would it look anything like this?

The art of giving off fake poker tells is a difficult one to master, but the main reason behind doing so is clear: to fool your opponents into thinking you're either bluffing, not bluffing, or that you're a moron with no idea what game you're playing.

Either way, you want them to think the opposite of the truth, so you get a bit more of a headstart over them on the felt. I was reading PokerPlayer today and came across a hilarious letter sent in by Benji Bowen, which I will reprint here.

Benji's tips on how to look like a fish:

1. When you sit down at a cash game ask, "What does first place pay?", followed later by, "When are the blinds going up?"
2. Ask the dealer if bluffing is allowed. When they give you a weird look and say that it is, rub your hands together and chuckle to yourself.
3. Ask what the most you can bet is (especially when playing no-limit), and ask it often.
4. When you go to bet say "raise", when you go to raise say "re-raise", and when you... more.
   

I don't remember if I've ever mentioned this before, but anyway.

Would you consider staking a poker player that you knew what pretty good?

It would work like this: you offer up a percentage of the buyin in exchange for either the same or similar percentage of any winnings.

If you could get a few good players on the books, and a few rich backers, it's a bit like HYIPs (High Yield Investment Programs), but in my eyes: better, since Poker is a lot more predictable that the stock market.

I guess it hasn't happened yet because the good players that are worth backing can afford it by themselves, since they're good.

There is always going to be a game they can't afford to get into though, especially if they're just starting out or have a small bankroll. In that case, why hasn't someone setup a (legitimate) site or service offering backing?

If there is already such a site, why the heck don't I know about it ye... more.

What am I on about? Online poker of course, durrrr ;)

In case you didn't see it, I've got a poll running in right right hand navbar over there, and the question is:

"Which is your most profitable poker variation when playing online?"

Well the votes are in. They've been counted, recounted and were not at all affected by the Bush administration (*cough* Florida *cough*)

Unsurprisingly, Texas Hold'Em is the clear winner (50%), but it is closely followed by Razz (29%), Omaha (14%) and Seven Card Stud (7%.. ooh, spooky).

I haven't been on many poker forums recently, but I do remember there being a huge upsurge in the number of players tinkering with Omaha - mainly because many newbies had no idea how to play, so were leaking cash.

Plus many Hold'Em players are getting pretty good, so the hot streaks aren't coming so easily - why not move to fields anew?

Well, perhaps the same is now true of Razz. I'll be the first to put my hand up and say I have no... more.

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It looks like Tony G is maybe not as bad as I previously thought. When he recently won the Betfair Asian Poker Tour, he donated half his winnings (approximately $225,000) to a local charity, and then the winners trophy to the second place player, Joshua Ang!

Tony was quoted as saying, "so it can stay in Singapore". What a nice man :)

I take back everything I said. That's a seriously great thing to do, and it shows that his table image really is just that - a table image. Of course, that doesn't mean that it's necessarily a good table image to have... but I'll leave that for another day.

So.. now that new year has come around, I should probably make some resolutions. I've already made some for the world outside of poker (there is one you know!), but I need to shuffle up my ideas on the felt.

Honestly, I've been neglecting poker a bit recently, since I haven't had much time to play. I do still enjoy watching re-runs of the WSOP on TV, and checking out the odd weird and wonderful clip of some fools (usually American) at home who think poker is some kind of drinking game.

So er.. here goes:

1. Play more poker. Kind of obvious I suppose, but it needs saying. 99% of poker is in the playing. The cards.. the chips.. and the opponents. Without those, I'm pretty much pokerless - although that being said, poker is widely recognised as a pretty decent spectator sport. Especially when tools like Tony G are playing.
2. Play more poker. Offline. Due to moving I have been unable to keep up my weekly homegame, so I need to find a new one I can clean up at. I've been read... more.
   

Happy New Year!

So many holidays all at once... not to mention my birthday on the 31st :)

Just a short post today, since I've got lots of left over holiday treats to scoff.

A while back I mentioned spam comments on this blog, and was forced to install a human moderation system.

This hasn't put off spammers like "TramadolDog" who leaves daily messages about how dull his life is (seriously!).

There's also many spammers who leave innocuous comments like "Nice site, useful information". I know they're not real comments because there's 10 at a time...

My favourite though, has got to be:

"Your guestbook is example of middle-class guestbooks"

Brilliant! Utterly, utterly pointless. Why spam me with 10 of these a day? No sales pitch, no link, no clever JavaScript redirects (congratulations to whoever landed that one on me).

I suppose the next step is installing a more.